From Center to Circumference

Looking Ahead...

2012-01-01T13:05:00.000-06:00

New Year's Day is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday. It is very suited to my personality, as I am a "look ahead" kind of gal. I don't spend much time in the past, in fact I have tons of photos that have never made it to albums because I can't be bothered. I never spend much time looking at photo albums anyway. I prefer dreaming of what will be than dwelling on what has been. Just the way I'm wired I guess. All that to say that I love the first day of a New Year because of the potential it holds. It's as if a very messy chalkboard has been erased and cleaned and is ready for new things to be written on it.

After a challenging and difficult 2010 and 2011, Steve and I are very ready for better things to come. We are already getting a taste of them as we settle into our new church and get our new home ready for moving day. We should be living at the new house starting on the 14th of January. All of our stuff won't be moved by then, but we'll have what we need to live on. We'll move everything else as we clear space for it. Our current house hasn't sold yet, so there's no hurry to get everything out. It's been fun planning and organizing...dreaming about the potential each new room holds. Hopefully we'll be ready for overnight guests in the fall. In the meantime, it will be fun to have space to have people over for meals and bible studies. The kids will have plenty of room to entertain their friends, plus there's a certain, energetic 3 year-old who is very excited about visiting "Aunt Gigi" at her new house, so our new life will be anything but boring! :)

On the quilt front, for Christmas I got a tool that helps make scalloped borders, and I also got a mechanical fabric pencil, both of which will help me finish the quilt top that is currently in line for hand quilting. I might even have a spot in the new house to put up my quilt frame, so I don't have to keep quilting on my lap--which is ok in the winter, but impossible in the summer. I also have a couple of tops I need to finish hand piecing. But before all THAT I need to sew some new curtains for the house and see if I can fashion some slipcovers for some of the older sofas.

I'd better get off the computer and get busy.. I have a lot to do! ;) Happy New Year!

Exciting News and Big Changes!

2011-12-13T11:08:00.000-06:00

After a year and a half of waiting and praying (and not always patiently) our family is finally taking the next step on the road God has laid out for us. We are moving to Marion, IL, where Steve is the new Tech Pastor at Community of Faith Church. In addition, we are moving into a very large house (9 bedrooms!) owned by the church, which we will develop into a place of hospitality for various needs (guest speakers, pastors in need of retreat, families displaced by disaster, etc.)

After Christmas, the rush of moving will begin in earnest, as our goal is to be in by the time our son starts his second semester of college (which is just down the road from our new house--another blessing). I will confess I'm not looking forward to the actual process of moving, so I'm thinking ahead to the "joy set before me", so to speak.

It's beyond amazing how we've seen God's hand in all of this. We got the call to consider the move about a week after we decided God was saying it was time to put the house on the market. It still hasn't sold, but it's been shown many times. We know God will take care of that in good time, too. The job is Steve's dream ministry, overseeing all the technical aspects of the church. I'm in awe as well, because I had just been telling the Lord how much my heart wants to be able to concentrate on homemaking and using the skills He's given me in that area--and now He's given me a huge home to care for and the opportunity to bless not only my family but others.

Lastly, I'm excited because I might actually have a reason to keep up with this blog more..I should have much to report on concerning the move and the progress in the new house. I'm still quilting, of course, so as soon as I have some new pictures of my projects I'll be sure to post them as well.

Be Free To Be Thankful!!

2011-11-23T22:27:00.000-06:00

Every year I get frustrated because it seems like this special day gets overshadowed by Christmas. It's as if after Halloween autumn ends abruptly and the jingle bells begin ringing. Now, I have nothing against Christmas, but it seems like, in these times that can often be difficult and challenging, we really need a season where we stress the importance of thankfulness and gratitude. Especially when it comes right before a season that can often breed selfishness, discontent, and commercialism, especially in our children. If we would truly take the time to celebrate Thanksgiving, emphasizing what it really means to be grateful and appreciating all our blessings, maybe it would be easier to enter the Christmas season with the right heart attitude.

I confess that I'm indulging in this little rant in the safety of my blog, because I've learned that you have to be careful what you say to people who militantly love Christmas. To suggest that it's not your absolutely favorite day, and that you don't live the rest of the year for it can be considered blasphemy by some. Maybe it's because the holiday has to do with Jesus, but I doubt it, because you don't see them getting quite so crazy at Easter.

I think it's time for all of us who love Thanksgiving to take back the day--maybe even the whole long weekend! . We should no longer be made to feel ashamed of the fact that our fall decorations are still in place, there is no Christmas tree in our living room, and we will, under no circumstances, get up at the crack of dawn and stand in line to buy Christmas presents. Let us all feel free to enjoy our turkey and pumpkin pie, all the while counting our blessings and remembering to thank the One to whom we should be eternally grateful. :)

P.S. To all my friends who love Christmas--I promise I will put up my tree, buy and give presents, and sing lots of Christmas carols-- because I love doing it all. (I just don't love it before December 1st) ;)

What's Been Happening Here?

2011-09-09T16:55:00.000-05:00

Here is a quick recap of recent events:

I sent my son off to his first college classes..

So far he loves college and is doing really well. It was fun to take this picture, as it was the first time I had actually seen him "off" to school. :)

I am working on a double wedding ring quilt....

I am english paper piecing the wedges, and then I will applique the finished arcs onto the white pieces. (That's my plan, anyway..I've never actually made one of these before.) It will only be crib size, so if it's a huge pain at least I won't have to spend a long time working on it.

We showed our house to a realtor, who suggested things we need to do before we put the house on the market. It should take us a couple months, and then we'll be ready to put a sign out in the front yard. Exciting! We're still batting around ideas of where we want to go--another town close to here that's not unreasonably far from hubby's job and college man's campus.

We had a yard sale--only the second in our family's history. We didn't make much money, but we got rid of a ton of junk, and our basement looks much happier.

Sadly, my babysitting days have ended as the little man has gone off to preschool. I've had him since he was two months old, so I cried after his last day, but I'm very excited for him. He loves his new school and is making lots of new friends and having awesome new experiences.

Lastly, the weather has cooled down considerably (yay!) and in honor of the occasion, I made a big pot of one of my favorite chilly weather dishes...hamburger stew. I'll close this post with the recipe.

Hamburger Stew

3 lbs ground chuck

6 cups diced raw potatoes

1 lb baby carrots

1 med onion, chopped

1 green pepper, chopped

2 cans condensed tomato soup

2 tsp. poultry seasoning

2 tsp. Italian seasoning

Cook the ground chuck with the onion and pepper. Drain. Add veggies, soup, and spices. Simmer for an hour to make sure all the veggies get cooked and that the spices have a chance to do their thing. You can change this recipe to suit your tastes..I often use frozen onion and pepper, or I'll use frozen peas. Serve with some really good bread, and you've got a perfect fall or winter meal.

There's a Table Waiting for You

2011-08-22T23:38:00.001-05:00

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies..." Psalm 23:5

In our darkest hours, when our enemy seems to be ever present to discourage and torment, our Heavenly Father lays a table before each of us. While the feast on each individual table may consist of different items, each table is an abundance of blessing for the one who is willing to take part in it. It is a table of joy and comfort. It may contain spiritual blessings or physical blessings or both. My own table consists of my family, my home, God's amazing provision and never-ending love. Among these bigger items can be found extra little "treats" such as a gorgeous day, the fun of reading a children's book to a two-year old, watching a movie with my kids, a chance to go out on a date with my husband, or having a quilt come together the way I envision. These are but a few of the special delicacies He has laid out for me to enjoy.

There are, of course, certain things that can keep me from feasting at my table. Sometimes I notice my table is missing something I think should be there, so I let my disappointment (and sometimes bitterness) keep me from noticing what IS there. Other times I feel that my time of difficulty is a sign that God is somehow displeased, and I feel I don't deserve His blessings. So, my table may sit untouched.

Maybe sometimes my problem is that I am so busy fighting my enemies that I don't take time to go to the table. I forget that my battles are the Lord's, and He will fight for me if I will let Him. Or maybe I let the expectations and judgments of those who aren't enjoying their own tables keep me from enjoying mine.

Whatever the reason, I can't imagine what it does to the heart of God when I refuse to come and feast on His blessings. One thing I've learned in the last year is how much He longs to comfort, strengthen, and bless His children. If only I would take the time (and give myself permission) to notice.....

Chicken Pox the Sequel, and Other Stuff

2011-08-17T17:09:00.000-05:00

So help me, I'm going to start updating these posts more often. I know it's a promise I've made before, but this time I'm nearly serious. Okay, so I'm not really sure I can pull it off, but I'd sure like to. My problem is I always think I have to wait until I have something worthwhile and creative to say. It's time to let the cat out of the bag though--my life isn't all that interesting, and there's only so much you can say about cleaning the house for the hundredth time or continuing to work on a quilt you've been plugging away at for an eternity. So in lieu of anything more noteworthy, my day to day will just have to do. :)

We had another family member fall victim to the chicken pox. My 17 year old son came down with them. Thankfully he's fine now, and they came early enough that they aren't messing up his first day of college--which is tomorrow! We went last week to get his books--all $623 dollars worth (thank the Lord for financial aid )! He's excited and I'm excited for him.

My daughter isn't quite as excited about the 11th grade, or being the only homeschooled kid left in this family. All her friends started back to school this week, so her social life has taken a hit. I'm hoping once she gets into her lessons, she'll be a bit more enthusiastic. She's not starting until after Labor Day, and she still has a week to spend with my family in Missouri, so her summer hasn't ended yet.

Speaking of my family, they are coming to visit tomorrow. They will be here for the weekend to celebrate my sister's ??th birthday. (I don't think I'm allowed to say.) There will shopping, and laughing, and bickering (as only family can do) and, of course eating. I may need to think of a reason to get out of TOPS on Monday night. It's not good if the weight recorder gains weight, and that's been happening too much lately anyway. On second thought, maybe I should just practice moderation and try to get in some exercise. :)

My sweetheart continues to be faithful at his job (I can't really call it his "new" job, he's been there long enough). I love that he's always worked so hard to provide for us (and been willing to do without things I'm sure he would have liked to have) so that I could stay home and be a full time mom as well as homeschool. In a couple of years after my daughter is finished, I'm hoping I can find a way to supplement our income, so that the pressure will be off him some.

Speaking of supplementing an income, I found this wonderful documentary that I think any quilter (or anyone missing their Grandma) would love to see. The sound's not great, so you might want to watch it with earphones, but it's worth watching. Who knows, maybe one day you'll find me with a Quilts for Sale sign outside my house. :)

Kathleen Ware, Quiltmaker

Chicken Pox, Noodles, and a New Quilt

2011-07-21T16:24:00.000-05:00

This week we have been visited by the dreaded Chicken Pox virus. My 15 year-old daughter came down with them on Sat. Thankfully, she's not feeling sick anymore; she's just waiting for all the spots to heal. Her 17 year-old brother hasn't had them yet, so we're waiting to see what the future holds for him.

With my DD sick, the little guy hasn't been able to come this week. Fortunately, his daddy has been off work all week and able to look after him. Without a 2 1/2 year-old to chase after, I've had a little extra time to do things I normally don't get a chance to do. One of those things has been to make a batch of homemade noodles.

My chicken pox victim said yesterday she was craving them, and I couldn't say no. I've forgotten how easy they are to do. I should make multiple batches sometime and freeze them. They'll be great with chicken in them and green beans on the side.

I also have a quilt finished, washed and ready to go. It's a baby quilt that is for my cousin's baby. She and her husband are Dallas Cowboys fans.

Each of the plain blocks says something different, like "Li'l Cowboys Fan" or "Cowboy in Training".

It was pretty easy to do, except I wasn't at all happy with the quality of the Cowboys fabric that I used on the border.

The fabric had a lower thread count than I prefer, and it crocked. I was worried that it would run in the wash, but I washed it with a Shout Color Catcher, and it came out fine. I was especially disappointed because, being a licensed fabric, it was a bit pricey. Fortunately I used a 40 percent off coupon from JoAnns, so I didn't have to pay full price for it.

I had to rush to finish the quilt because the little guy who's getting it decided he couldn't wait and came two months early. He's having his ups and downs, as most premies do, but he's doing very well for one who came so early. I can't wait to see him and hold him for the first time!

An Unexpected Revelation

2011-06-29T14:21:00.000-05:00

If our circumstances don't change soon, I may change the name of this blog to "Life on the Shelf" because that is where it very much feels like God has put us. We know He hasn't forgotten us (although we have to remind ourselves of that every once in awhile) but when you've been in ministry for what seems like forever and then you're not anymore, it can be an adjustment. Truthfully, it's probably just as well because, while I can't speak for my husband, I have the continual feeling that I really don't have much to give right now. I don't say that to be self-pitying or pathetic, just honest. I used to wonder what people meant when they talked about coming to the end of themselves--I'm starting to get the idea. So, I fill my days doing what has to be done to keep this house and family afloat and doing what I have to do to keep myself sane.

One of the things I love to do is read blogs written by women with whom I share an interest or lifestyle. Most of the blogs I read are by fellow quilters, some by homeschooling moms, and some by women with whom the only thing I have in common is a Christian faith.

One blogger I read regularly happens to fit in all three categories. She loves to quilt, homeschools her children, and is a Christian. I love reading her posts because I can relate to so many of them. I also love reading them because she is a warm, funny, sincere person. She will sometimes comment on my own posts (whenever I get around to writing something new) and her comments always make me glad I took the time to add to my blog.

Recently, life for this woman has taken a sad and unexpected turn. Her son, who happens to have been the age of my own son, died very unexpectedly. I remember feeling sick at heart when I read her post telling of the tragic news. I admit it's not like me to feel such compassion for someone I've never met, but in the days and weeks to follow I prayed for her and her family and couldn't get them off my mind. Because of my concern, I have since frequently kept up to date with her blog as a way of checking to make sure she's still doing okay, under the circumstances.

In the process of reading her account of walking through this process, I've come to what I consider to be a pretty big revelation about myself and my relationship with the Lord. In one of her posts she wrote of being given the gift of rocking chairs which sit outside on her front porch. She says that there are times when her grief becomes particularly difficult that she can sit in one of those rockers and cry, remember, and reflect until peace comes back to her and she can get up and carry on with the business of living. That picture stuck with me for days after it was drawn in my mind...I just kept pondering it over and over again until I finally figured out why it captivated me so much. This dear woman was enjoying something that I failed to have, which was a security in her relationship with God that gave her both the freedom to grieve and the joy to carry on despite of her grief.

I realized, in comparing her sorrow with my own of late (which pales in comparison to what she's going through) how differently I've handled my own grief. Even when I went through my miscarriage I didn't know this kind of security and peace. When I'm hurting I tend to believe that God is only concerned with how "righteously" I'm handling the circumstance I'm in. I assume He's unhappy or disappointed if I'm not "rejoicing in everything" or thinking all the right thoughts, or forgiving quickly enough. I've never allowed myself to think that maybe He just wants me to "be" with Him...to be angry, to be hurt, to be sad, to just allow Him to comfort and heal. I'm certain I've forsaken many opportunities for God's comfort and peace in my life, because I was so worried that I wasn't doing, saying and thinking everything "right" so He'd be happy.

I can become so performance oriented in my walk with God...a fact I've known for much of my adulthood. It hasn't been until now though that I've realized how much it's cost me. I've sacrificed peace, comfort, victory, and security all on the altar of self-righteousness. I've often made God a miserly accountant instead of the loving, capable Father He wants to be in my life. Who knew it would take both my coming to the end of my own endurance and the grief of another to open my eyes to what I've been missing.

With this new realization on my mind, I've been reading Grace Walk by Steve McVey, which deals with much of what I've been talking about. I read it once before, but I don't think I was in a place to get out of it what I needed to. It's hard to get out of a performance mentality when you still have some performances left in you. I guess it's only when you have little to nothing left of yourself to give that you can truly appreciate the enormous resources and treasure you have in Jesus.

Celebrating and Reflecting.

2011-06-12T16:03:00.000-05:00

Saturday we celebrated our son's high school graduation. Because he's our oldest, we'd never held a homeschool graduation before. Thankfully, the day couldn't have gone better. The weather was perfect, and everyone had a good time. We ordered a beautiful diploma for him online, which was a surprise to him. I think he was expecting something made on our computer.

We also celebrated his enrollment in college for the fall, and the fact that financial aid is paying for everything. That is a huge answer to prayer...we won't have to think about the money for the first year at least.

Now that our school year is over, I've had some time to think about both the past and the future. The past, though unchangeable, is still an ever-present fact we deal with on a daily basis. The future feels like a destination hidden in the distance by fog, unrecognizable. I'm trying to learn how to focus on the now...today. What does God have for me, what does He want from me in this moment?

I'm reading a book that is helping a lot. It's called Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George.

It's really helping me to focus on today, and to rethink my priorities. I would highly recommend it to anyone, especially if you're going through or you just come through a difficult time.

The Quilting Circle --Why I Love to Quilt

2011-03-09T12:14:00.000-06:00

In 1999, a friend invited me to go with her to a quilting class at a local community college. There were many reasons for me to say "no". First of all, I had a two children, ages five and three, a husband, and a house that took up most of my time and attention. Secondly, while I was pretty good at crochet and embroidery, I was wary at the thought of quilting, because it involved sewing. I hadn't sewn anything since Home Ec. my freshman year of high school, and that experience didn't exactly leave me wanting more. But, we were still new to the area, having just moved, and I thought getting out of the house and meeting new people would do me some good, so I said "yes".

Somewhere in the process of learning, I got hooked. Addicted might be a better term. I couldn't, and still can't, get enough of quilts or the process of making them. Although I didn't really understand why at first, over the last 12 years, I've come to realize some of the reasons why I love to quilt so much.

Quilting gives me the chance to create something that will last. Meals are eaten minutes after they are prepared. The same dishes must be washed again and again. The laundry is "caught up" until everyone goes to bed at night and changes into PJ's. Clean bathrooms are soon messy, and beds are unmade in the blink of an eye. When I make a new quilt block, add a section to a quilt top, or hand quilt a section of a quilt in the frame--it stays that way. Every quilt I see in my home is evidence that not everything I do gets "undone" quickly afterward.

The process of quilting can be relaxing. I like to do a lot of piecing by hand, and I only do applique and quilting by hand. There is something very calming and meditative in the rhythmic motion of a needle moving through fabric--especially if the house is quiet or I have some favorite music to listen to. Some quilters complain that hand work is too slow, but, for me, it is the very nature of the slow pace that provides peace in a world that normally moves at 90 miles an hour.

Quilting is my link to women of the past. I have an enormous amount of admiration for women from my grandmothers' generation and generations that were before them. Although they lacked many of the advantages that we women have now, what they didn't lack was a strength and perseverance that I'm not sure we can claim to possess. I love reading books like The Quilters--Women & Domestic Art or Legacy--The Story of Talula Gilbert Bottoms and Her Quilts and learn about the lives these women lived, the hardships they faced, and how the simple act of making a quilt often helped them get through. In the last 12 years that I've been a quilter I've walked through difficult seasons such as miscarriage, serious illnesses in my family, financial difficulties, and broken relationships. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had quilting to pour my energies into. Whenever I'm going through something difficult, quilting reminds me of the women of the past, and encourages me that if they could walk through the valleys, so can I.

Quilting often reminds me of spiritual truth. Quilters love to take scraps of fabric that someone else would think are worthless, gather them together, and arrange them into something useful and beautiful. As my husband and I like to say, "There's a sermon in there somewhere!" Quilting reminds me of God's awesome ability to take the things in our lives that seem like "scraps" and worthless, and make them into something beautiful and helpful to others.

I'm sure other quilters have different reasons for loving to quilt. If you are a quilter, I'd love to hear yours...

So Thankful...

2011-03-08T11:07:00.000-06:00

In my last post I summarized our life for the last six months, and the difficulties we've had dealing with our "less than ideal" circumstances. As I've read back over what I wrote, I realize a big piece of the story is missing--a positive piece that should be shared.

For five months my husband wasn't working, and other than the money I earn babysitting a little boy, we had no regular income. For a family of four with a mortgage, car payment, prescriptions, utilities, etc. no income can be a scary thing, to put it mildly. After a few months we also no longer had health insurance. I wish I could say that we were always able to look at our need, smile, and say with confidence "God will provide", but, like most people would, we struggled daily as we bounced between fear and faith.

God did, of course, provide--in amazing and miraculous ways...

Early on we had a yard sale and earned enough to make a car payment that needed to be paid.

We were able to sell our second vehicle, which gave us enough money to breathe easier for a couple of months. The vehicle we sold was the one that my teenage son had been driving--and yet when we realized we had to sell it, he was so awesome about it. In fact, through the whole time my husband was unemployed, both our kids were wonderful. They never complained when we couldn't give them allowance anymore, or when we couldn't go for our monthly trip out to eat, or when they had to wait for something they needed until we had the money.

My daughter's ballet teacher waived her tuition in exchange for her help with a class of younger girls, so my daughter was able to continue dancing.

On two separate occasions, people brought us bags full of groceries. I'm still using some of what we were given--it was that much!

Many times, people sent us money in the mail--often in amounts we knew had to be a sacrifice for them. It always came just as we were needing to pay a bill, or the account was running too low.

Before Christmas, friends came to our door with load after load of wrapped presents for the kids and for us. Our tree was so full, we had to take a picture. Our kids probably ended up having a better Christmas than they would have if we would have been able to buy them presents.

During the time we had no health insurance, there were no doctor's visits and we were somehow able to keep everyone in prescriptions, even without the coverage.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something--there were so many ways in which God reminded us of His love for us and His faithfulness. Jesus said that all we needed was faith the size of a mustard seed, and we would do and see great things. Our hearts were broken, our faith was small, and yet God has done amazing things with both. And we are so thankful...

Moving On...

2011-03-06T13:51:00.000-06:00

We had it all planned out. My husband would resign his job as pastor, find a job to support our family, and we would continue to be a part of the church we've loved for 12 years. We knew we'd have to back away for awhile, in order to give the new pastor some room to settle in, but we were sure we'd soon find ourselves once again fellowshipping and worshiping with our church family.

They say that "man plans and God laughs". I doubt God was laughing this time. Unknown to us, there were things going on behind the scenes that weren't humorous at all. By the time everything was said and done, it was as if everything we had held dear here had been taken from us. There would be no church family with which to fellowship or worship. We waited for five long months for a job to open up, in the meantime dealing with crises in our families and the day to day stresses of life--all without the continued support of a church home to lean on. We are choosing forgiveness, and resisting the temptation to become bitter but, much like a death in the family, we have grief that doesn't go away just because we will it to.

My husband has a job now, one 45 minutes from where we live. We have been attending a church we love--30 minutes in a whole other direction. We feel we could really move on with our lives if we could move away, but where to go? If we move closer to work, then we are farther away from church making involvement even harder. If we move closer to church, we increase my husband's commute to work, which isn't ideal either. The biggest reason not to move, of course, is simply that God hasn't told us to.

But if we stay here, there is a huge question we must answer--how do we move on without moving away? This town is much too small to avoid constant reminders of what happened. We're tired of running errands, wondering who we're going to run into and how awkward is it going to be. Living here puts us into the "one step forward two steps back" mode when it comes to forgiveness and moving forward. Just when we think we have made progress--an encounter with someone or news of the church draws us right back in.

And yet the cloud isn't moving from the Tabernacle, so to speak. We're keeping our eyes on God, waiting for Him to give the signal that it's time to pack up and go. We keep waiting--but no change. So here we are, trying to navigate this "new normal" we find ourselves in, wondering what the future holds and how do we survive until then. Praying for wisdom.....

Another UFO finished!

2011-02-22T09:27:00.000-06:00

I finally finished this quilt for my sister. She saw the pattern in the Connecting Threads catalogue and asked me to make it for her.

A close up of one of the little chicks...

Hand quilting work on the borders--I drew the pattern freehand.

I once read somewhere that if someone asks you to make them a quilt, you should not let them pick the pattern because you are the one who has to live with it for the entire time you're working on it. They were right. I think the little chicks are cute, but this isn't a quilt I would have chosen to make for the satisfaction of it, and I am quite glad to see it finished.

Now I can get back to my other UFO's. I've decided to focus on this one for awhile. I'm English paper piecing the hexagons together. It's round now, but will be square by the time I'm finished. I have the rest of the fabric bought, and the batting as well. I still haven't decided the best quilting design for it, but I'm leaning toward an overall Baptist fan design--mostly because I know I'd get bored simply outlining all those hexagons. We'll see...

I also have a cheater quilt on the frame that needs to be finished. I'm quilting it "big stitch" style, so it shouldn't take very long, if I just keep at it.

I'm sure many quilters think they've "arrived" as a quilter when they are able to achieve some skill they desire to (hand quilting, foundation piecing, mitered corners, etc.) I think I'll feel like I've "arrived" as a quilter when I can fully appreciate my own work, and not be so quick to pick it apart. I'm never satisfied with my finished projects--at least not at first. If I put if away for awhile and then look at it, then I might think it looks pretty good, but I'm still able to quickly find the flaws. Often it takes the appreciation of others for me to really acknowledge my skill and abilities. I'm not sure what it will take for me to get there, but eventually I'd love to finish a project and be able to take a step back and admire the results of all the hard work I've done--imperfections and all.

Quilting Photos

2011-02-12T19:13:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how long it's been since my last post--my only excuse is lack of inspiration. One of the things I've noticed about blogs I love is that they have great pictures, so I decided to post some of my own.

It's no secret that I love to quilt, and I've wanted to include more info about my quilting adventures in my blog. Now that I know how to get our digital camera to work with the computer (I'm technology challenged), I should have inspiration to post a bit more often. Here are some of my latest quilting photos:

This is where I do my sewing..my husband fixed up a place for me in the basement several years ago.

My cutting table..notice the light box underneath. My husband made that for me. I haven't had the opportunity to use it yet, but I'll be thankful for it when I'm trying to transfer a complicated quilting pattern to a quilt top.

This is a collection of my husband's old dress shirts that I've cut up to use for quilts.

Some of the blocks I've made with the shirt pieces. These are machine pieced, but I've also been hand piecing some.

My mom got me a gift certificate to Connecting Threads for Christmas, and I used it to buy a fat quarter collection of these jewel tones. I'm hoping to turn them into an applique project...but not until I finish some UFO's!

If you've learned nothing else from this post, you now know how much my husband supports my quilting "habit". ( Although he rolls his eyes when I tell him I like one of his shirts, because he knows I'm dreaming of what it might look like in a quilt.) :)

Getting the Most Out of a Whole Chicken

2010-11-06T23:08:00.000-05:00

Remember the old Barbara Mandrell song, "I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool"? Well, I like to say I was frugal when frugal wasn't cool. When the economy started to tank everyone was suddenly talking about ways to save money as if their ideas were new discoveries. I would often think, "That's nothing new--I've been doing that for the last 18 years!"

One way I've saved our family a lot of money is in the food department. One skill I've had to learn over the years is cooking--eating out and making prepackaged foods is hard on the budget. I especially love cooking whole chickens, because they are especially budget friendly. So I thought I'd share how I get the most for my money on chicken.

I can usually get whole fryers at Wal Mart or Kroger for around a dollar a pound. I try to buy the fattest ones I can find, usually 5-6 pounds. Occasionally roasters will go on sale for a dollar a pound, and then I buy those because they are often fatter and have a lot more meat on them.

The first thing I do with my chicken is to roast it whole. It's super easy to do. All I do is unwrap it, place it in my roasting pan, breast side down, and sprinkle it with whatever seasonings I have on hand (salt, pepper, paprika, italian seasoning, etc.) Then I bake it at 325 until it's done, usually after two hours or so. (By the way, a lot of instructions will tell you to wash the chicken first. I don't do this because all washing it accomplishes is spreading nasty chicken juice all over my sink. Can you say salmonella? Yuck!)

After the chicken is done and has cooled a bit, I take as much meat as I can off of the bones. That usually gives me enough meat for a couple of different chicken dishes, like enchiladas and a casserole. I take the chicken bones and skin and put them in a stock pot, covering them with water and maybe a quartered onion if I have one. After this has simmered for a couple of hours I drain the pot, saving the broth. I can also usually get more meat off the bones, because it is extra tender after cooking longer. I like to cool the broth and let it set in the fridge overnight so that I can skim off the fat the next day. It can be greasy if I skip this step. The next day the broth and meat become soup, or chicken and noodles.

By the time the chicken is gone, I've gotten several meals out of it. The two chicken dishes I make usually feed us for dinners with leftovers for one or two of us for lunch the next day. The dish I make with the broth, usually feeds all four of us two different times. That's around six meals out of one chicken!

Are We Willing to Climb the Hill?

2010-10-14T18:10:00.000-05:00

This morning I was reading the Message Bible, and I came across this passage from the Gospel of Matthew:

"When Jesus saw His ministry drawing huge crowds, He climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to Him, the committed, climbed with Him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught His climbing companions." Matthew 5:1-2

I think it's interesting that Jesus' response to the crowds was to climb up a hill--to, in effect, move away from them instead of staying with them. Could it be possible that he was weeding out the committed from the merely curious? What might those who followed Him have to teach us today? I notice a few things...

1. Those who followed Jesus were willing to separate themselves from the crowd.  You have to wonder if there were those who followed Jesus up that hill who left behind friends or family members who couldn't be bothered. Maybe they were pressured to stay behind for convenience sake or because others didn't want to be embarrassed by their enthusiasm. What might people think if they saw my brother, sister, child or spouse, follow that man up that hill. What if they get "thrown in" with His other followers--the ones that people are always whispering about.?
   It can be the same today--people in our lives can pressure and discourage us in order to keep us from making an effort to pursue God with everything we have. Maybe our commitment is inconvenient for them, or just downright embarrassing. Like those who climbed, however, we have to be willing to disregard the opinions and requests of others in order to follow.

2. Those who followed Jesus had to be willing to expend some energy. The teachings that Jesus gives those that follow Him up the hill are commonly referred to as the Sermon on the Mount--not the Sermon on the small hill. It took effort and energy to climb. If we are going to follow Jesus today, we too must be willing to expend some energy. It might mean getting up earlier in the morning or staying up later at night. It means getting up on Sunday mornings and going to church when we'd rather sleep in. It means going to an evening Bible study even though we've had a long day at work and would rather stay home and rest. It might even mean expending the energy to follow Him to the poor, the imprisoned, or the lost either in this country or on a foreign mission field.

3. Those who followed Jesus had to be willing to go with Him to a quiet place. This probably wasn't much of a challenge for those on the hill with Jesus, but it certainly is a challenge for us today. We don't live in a quiet world. Television, radio, cell phones, traffic, kids, crowds--we are surrounded by noise on a continual basis. It 's so bad that there are many people who can no longer function at all in the quiet. Some people have to have noise just to sleep. We're just not accustomed to silence, and it can make us uncomfortable.
   The reality is, however, that if we really want to hear the voice of Jesus, we must have times of quiet in our lives. Personally, if I'm in a crowded restaurant and I can hear conversations all around me, it's hard for me to focus on what the person I'm with is saying. In the same way, it's so hard for me to hear from God if I have noisy distraction all around. I have to be willing to leave the noise and chaos behind and find that quiet place where I can hear from Him.

   I'm sure that those who followed Jesus up that hill weren't disappointed. They were able to hear some of the most amazing truths ever spoken. They found out things about God that they had never known before. They were encouraged that there was hope, grace, and love available for them in their every need. The God who blessed them for their diligence to seek after the truth does the same for us today. I have never regretted any effort I have made to seek after Him--not any extra meeting I've attended, not any ministry trip I've ever taken, not any morning I've gotten up early or night I've stayed up late to spend time with Him. Seeking Him has always been worth the climb.

Revisiting Job

2010-09-18T17:35:00.000-05:00

Recently I've been reading the book of Job. We've been through some trying times lately, and I knew I could find wisdom there. I had also never read it from the Message Bible, so I decided to jump in.

Reading Job always reminds me of something God showed me during another difficult time. Several years ago, before we moved to Illinois, we were going through some really difficult times financially and circumstantially. Nothing seemed to be going the way we wanted it to, and our faith and patience were being tested and stretched to the limit. I can still remember standing in our little kitchen, crying (literally) out to God. All of a sudden the book of Job popped into my mind--specifically the end of the book. I knew God was wanting me to look at it again, so I grabbed my Bible and turned to the end of the book. This verse jumped off the page:

"I had heard about You before, but now I have seen You with my own eyes." Job 42:5

I realized that Job came out of his trouble with a greater knowledge of God. God began to speak to me about my own life and my expectations. He told me that if my expectations and hopes of life were placed in the wrong things, I would always be disappointed. If my hopes were built on that my life would be perfect, that no one would ever be sick, that we'd always have money, that we'd never lose people we loved, that relationships would never go bad--I would be very disappointed. But, if the one hope of my life was to know Him more, to "see Him with my own eyes", then I would never be disappointed, because in each and every circumstance, good or bad, He would be faithful to reveal more of Himself to me.

I wish I could say that in the years that have followed I've always made seeing Him my only hope. But I can say that during times when it has been my hope, He's been faithful to His word--I've never been disappointed. As I've searched for Him I've found Him, and each time I come away with another "jewel" of knowledge about His being and His character. I've also found that every new thing I learn helps me deal with the next difficult thing that comes along. It's certainly been true in the difficult time we're in now. I know I can cope only because of what He's shown me about Himself in past difficulties--and I am so thankful.

Just Hit Delete

2010-09-02T22:02:00.004-05:00

My blog currently suggests that I haven't made an entry since Christmas of last year. The truth is that I made several entries in 2010--but I deleted them all. I didn't like them; they were basically my complaints about what is going on in my life. Nothing to really bring encouragement to anyone, including me.

Wouldn't it be great if life had a delete button!? Say something stupid? Delete. Do something you wish you hadn't? Delete. All our sins, mistakes, and blunders wiped out by a single keystroke. Gone forever into nothingness where no one ever need know about them. Sounds great to me.

Now before you get too spiritual on me--yes, I know that the blood of Jesus takes away our sins and makes us justified (just as if I'd never sinned). I'm so thankful that all the garbage in my life is deleted in God's accounts. However, the reality on planet Earth is that many of the wrong things we say and do are permanently out there for all the world to hear and witness. Don't believe me, ask anyone who has ever had an unflattering video of themselves posted on You Tube.

Maybe our problem isn't so much that life comes without a delete button, but instead maybe it's that we so easily forget that one isn't there. We go through life saying and doing so many things without any thought to the consequences. It's once we reap the "harvest" of our poor choices that we regret not being more careful. By that time, it's often too late. The damage is done. Relationships are in shambles; reputations are destroyed; wealth is lost; good health is permanently gone.

The Bible gives us many verses to help us avoid wishing we could hit a delete button. This is one of my favorites:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

We must trust that He knows the best thing to do or say, even when everything in us is tempted to do or say the opposite. We have to be humble enough to admit that, left to our own understanding of life, we would continually make messes we can't clean up. We must slow down and take the time to seek His will before we jump in to act or make our opinions known. And, as He directs us, we must obey, knowing that the paths He leads us in are good, right, and without regret. (And, they just might keep us off of You Tube!)

Curing my S.A.D.D.

2009-12-25T14:47:00.005-06:00

With the new year approaching, it's time for my annual evaluation of life--where I'm headed versus where I want to be. Unfortunately, I find every year that these two things don't match up very well. Sometimes I need a small course correction--other times I need a major overhaul. I would put this year somewhere in the middle.

I've discovered this year that I seem to be suffering from a horrible, debilitating condition known as S.A.D.D.--Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder. People who suffer from this ailment find it difficult to focus on spiritual matters, such as their relationship with God or whether or not they are becoming more Christ-like. Distractions abound in the world of the S.A.D.D. sufferer, and they seem powerless to overcome them.

For me, the distractions are often just plain stupid, like beating my husband's score in Bejeweled Blitz (seriously, I can't prove it, but I think he's rigged all the computers in the house against me.) I find myself preoccupied with whether Pam and Jim's baby will be a boy or girl, or whether Kate will choose Sawyer or Jack. (Some of you know exactly who I'm talking about--the rest of you might want to pray for us.)

Other times my distractions are found in everyday life, like the daily grind of caring for this house, our homeschool, and the cutest one year old in the world (OK, I'm biased.) The virus hitting our household a while back provided quite a distraction (although when I had it I did think a lot about eternity--half the time I thought I was going to die, and the other half I wished I would!)

Some distractions are sneaky--they make you think you're paying attention to spiritual matters, when you're actually just caught up in "holy busyness". Anyone in full-time ministry, or even simply very involved in church knows what that is like.

Finally, there are the distractions that can be too huge to ignore. A family member is diagnosed with a serious illness. The financial tightrope you walk keeps getting thinner. Your children are close to embarking upon their own life's journey and future, and you worry you didn't do enough to train them. These type of distractions have one very large benefit--they tend to wake us up to the fact that we're distracted. We run to God for help and comfort, only to discover we're not as close as we once were.

Fortunately, S.A.D.D. is not without a cure. There has to be one, because God tells us in His word, "...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish." Hebrews 12:1-2

I have often heard that the best things for a child with A.D.D. are structure and discipline. I think those of us with S.A.D.D. need these as well. So, if there is a resolution I have for 2010, it is to be disciplined at "keeping my eyes on Jesus". It will mean going to bed earlier and getting up earlier to spend time with Him (something I confess to neglecting). It will mean more carefully choosing how I spend my time, deciding to trade the "good" in for the "better". It will mean learning the art of knowing when to say "no" and when to say "yes". It will mean doing things I don't want to do, and not doing things I'd rather do. The disciplined life is not easy, that's why I'm thankful for His promise...

"But God's discipline is always right and good for us because it means we will share in His holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening--it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Hebrews 12:10-11

Teeth, Viruses and Quilts (Oh My!)

2009-11-11T15:49:00.002-06:00

Once again I am lamenting the fact that I've sorely neglected the blog. I think about writing from time to time, but then decide that I've nothing inspiring or important to share, so I let it go for awhile longer. Now I'm thinking that I should just write about whatever I want, and hope that maybe I manage to say something good in the process. If nothing else, I can always provide an "inside look" into the Quinn household, just in case anyone has ever wondered what in the world goes on here.

Our latest dramas have revolved around teeth and viruses. Steve and Katie have both had dental issues--Steve had to have a tooth pulled, and Katie had braces put on last week. Steve has recovered fully from his ordeal, but Katie is still living on mashed potatoes, applesauce, and anything else she can manage to eat. One of her brackets came unglued the night she got her braces, so Steve took her to the orthodontist this morning and had it fixed. She was supposed to go yesterday, but couldn't because she was sick--which brings us to our second drama.

Katie began feeling sick on Monday. Her fever got as high as 102 degrees. We're pretty sure she contracted the same virus she had a couple of weeks ago. Apparently she liked it so much she decided to try it again (just kidding). The little guy we babysit has been even sicker. His fever has been as high as 104. Both of them are getting better, although our little buddy has a longer journey to a full recovery.

I've been trying to use the time that the baby isn't here to catch up on some things. I've done some tidying up (we can mess up this house in record time) and I wrapped some books to send off for Paperback Swap. I've also been working on a baby quilt that I need to finish so that I can also finish a quilt that is being sent to Pensacola so that it can be taken by missionaries and given to a widow in Egypt. Quilters from different churches are making 100 quilts for the Egypt project. It's neat to think that a woman all the way over there will receive (and hopefully enjoy) something I created.

Dinner tonight is a teriyaki (sp?) stir-fry made with noodles and some leftover pork roast that I froze for just such an occasion. Then it's off to church for Bible study. We're starting a series based on the book Crazy Love. It should be really good.

Weakness and Contentment

2009-08-14T19:31:00.007-05:00

My body has been staging a mutiny for the last several years. Right now its particular weapon of choice is a head cold. It is undoubtedly bored with its usual arsenal and has decided to be creative. When this cold has cleared up, I'm sure it will go back to the usual--either choosing to send me fleeing to the bathroom because of something I've eaten, or send me to bed from the fatigue that comes with peri-menopause. Regardless of my body's particular act of rebellion, the results are often the same--I get frustrated and I feel guilty at my inability to just "suck it up" and do what needs to be done.

This wasn't what I had planned when I was younger. Before I married Steve I had visions of what an amazingly competent homemaker and homeschooling mom I'd be. Lord knows I had plenty of role models to spur me on--women who had a houseful of intelligent, perfectly behaved homeschooled children, and yet still found the time to keep a beautiful home and put wonderful meals on the table. All of this was done on a ridiculously low budget, because they were all expert money savers. On top of it all they had dynamic relationships with God, managing to spend time with Him daily. (These weren't, for the most part, women I knew personally, but I read their books and articles--oh yeah, they also had time to write). I knew when I stood at the altar and recited my marriage vows, that I was going to be just such a woman. After all, didn't the Bible say I could do all things through Christ?

So, how did my plans all turn out? My houseful of children has become a son and a daughter whom I love and am so incredibly thankful for. Any efforts to increase our family, however, ended with disappointment (another way my body has let me down.) My kids are intelligent and, for the most part, well-behaved. They are a joy. They are also homeschooled, although we still haven't managed to finish this years school work, and it will soon be time to begin our next. As far as my beautifully-kept home--well I'm lying in an unmade bed right now surrounded by piles of dirty laundry. The only reason my kitchen is clean is that my kids cleaned it for me since I wasn't feeling well. I do my best to watch my spending, but I still manage to have a minor coronary episode everytime I checkout at the grocery store. My quiet time? Well, let's just say that sometimes it's a little too quiet--except for the sound of my snoring.

I'm 41 years old and over thirty pounds overweight (mostly because often my choices are to lose my temper with my kids or eat chocolate--I figure a good mother would eat the chocolate.) Two weeks out of the month, my hormones kick me around like a soccer ball (another reason for the chocolate.)

Obviously I haven't become the woman I thought I'd become. Instead of strong and capable, I'm often weak and helpless. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty. Unmet expectations are difficult--the Bible says that they make us sick at heart. I've felt it many times.

Lately though, I find myself caring less about the fact that I haven't become the woman I wanted to be. Instead, I find myself hoping I'm becoming the woman God wants me to be. Could it possibly be that the things that were so important to me weren't that important to God?Could it be that God had bigger, more eternal issues in mind? It must be true, because when He speaks to me it's never about my weight, or the condition of my house, or whether the kids are getting good grades, or how many verses of the Bible I've read that day. It's always about whether or not I understand how much He loves me. It's about how I treat other people. It's about whether or not I will trust Him and be faithful, even when things haven't turned out like I had expected or wanted them to.

I can, indeed, do all things through Christ who gives me strength--as long as I understand what "all things" really means. For Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, it meant learning to be content in any situation. I can learn to be content in illness, in weakness, and when it feels like I've lost all control of my circumstances. It's an expectation that I can hold onto--one that won't disappoint, because it is a promise that comes straight from God.

Learning From Jon & Kate

2009-05-26T17:31:00.002-05:00

Last night's season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus Eight was difficult to watch. When you've tuned in week after week and watched this family deal with their unique circumstances, you begin to feel as though you know them personally. That makes it all the more difficult to watch their family fall apart.

I don't know all the in's and out's of what's going on with them. I have a few guesses, but I won't go into them here. It's really none of my business, anyway. As I've thought about everything since last night, though, I've seen some things I can learn from what's going on--things that will hopefully keep me from heading down the same road.

Lesson 1: Marriage comes first--period.

The first human relationship God created was between a husband and wife. It's a relationship that trumps all others. It is to take priority over my children, my job, my goals, my dreams. The only relationship that rates higher is with God Himself, and I honor that relationship by keeping the vows I made to both God and my husband on our wedding day. When marriage takes a back seat to anything else, it suffers--sometimes permanently.

Lesson 2: My blessings can easily become a burden.

Whenever God blessed the nation of Israel, they got so wrapped up in their blessings that they forgot God. It resulted in their downfall time and time again. King Solomon also allowed his blessings to pull him away from God. It's a drifting away that can be so slow, so subtle that we often don't realize it until our life is in shambles. We should enjoy our blessings, share them with others, and never, ever forget the One who blessed us in the first place.

Lesson 3: As a Christian, I must shape my culture, not let the culture shape me.

As I watched the paparazzi follow the Gosselins everywhere, I felt such a strong sense of shame and conviction. The only reason the paparazzi hound celebrities as they do is because there is a market for their pictures. If we would stop reading the magazines, watching the gossip shows on TV, and going to the websites that promote this garbage, the stalking would stop. I made a decision last night that I will no longer watch shows like Entertainment Tonight, and I will no longer read any publication that purchases photographs that are a blatant invasion of a celebrity's privacy. Photographing someone on the red carpet is one thing, photographing them with their kids on the street is something entirely different. Christians should take a stand against this culture of gossip and sleaze instead of buying into it. It hurts innocent people and violates Jesus' command for us to treat other people as we would want to be treated.

I really hope the Gosselins can work out their problems, and come out of this stronger than they've ever been. I hope they're getting counseling from someone who has their best interest at heart. I hope that this very public drama serves to "wake up" those of us who make the very same mistakes in private.

Catching up

2009-05-17T18:03:00.004-05:00

I realize that this blog is sorely neglected--something I hope to change in the future. The problem is that I keep waiting until I have something "profound" to say, but, frankly I'm just not that profound. So anyone who reads my blog, may just have to endure boring events and random thoughts in my life.

On the homeschool front, the kids are still plugging away at this year's work. We got a late start to the year, so I knew we would finish late. They don't seem too worried about it, and I've decided to stop letting the calendar be my taskmaster. Their school actually gives them until Oct. 31 to finish, so I'm really not worried, as long as we're working hard everyday. We are going to take a four day weekend over Memorial Day because we need the break.

We decided to withdraw them from CLASS next year and independently homeschool them. We felt like we needed a break from the heavy workload--and our wallet needed a break from the tuition. Alex can enroll again for his senior year and earn his diploma. In the meantime, there are academic areas I want to focus on. Alex really needs to spend a school year focusing on his writing skills if he is going to college. Katie needs to hone her study and critical thinking skills. Much of the work assigned to them by the school left us with little time to really put extra work into their weaker areas.

Speaking of weaker areas, I'm finally losing the weight I've been wanting to lose. I joined TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) on April 27, and have lost, as of last Monday, 6.2 pounds. I'm excited to weigh in tomorrow, because I know I've lost more. The eating plan is pretty easy, just counting calories, and I don't feel deprived (except the night Steve decided to go to DQ after church and I didn't have enough calories left for anything on the menu.) To be honest, the biggest draw to TOPS for me was the price--26 dollars for the whole year. I had thought about Weight Watchers, but couldn't swing the membership fee.

Little Carver (the baby I watch during the week) is growing up way too fast. He will soon be six months old. He has the most contagious giggle, and loves Alex and Katie--who are only too happy to entertain him. He is very active, and has all of us wondering what life is going to be like when he starts to crawl. The only member of our family who isn't totally smitten is our cat, Sammy. She's afraid of him, and will even walk out of her way to avoid his toys. Again, it could get interesting around here when he starts to crawl.

Spiritually, I've been doing some crawling of my own. I was doing so well at getting up earlier to spend time with God, but then I got sick and got out of the habit. It's something I really need to make a priority, especially since I'm so busy on Sunday mornings at church, it's often hard for me to settle into worship. We started a new class on Wed. nights called The School of Personal Revival that I hope will re-light some flames that I've allowed to burn out. I'll be sure to post how I'm progressing...

Ups and Downs of Homeschooling

2009-04-01T20:02:00.004-05:00

Our two children, ages 13 and 15, have always been home schooled. The only outside "schooling" they've had has been Sunday School, summer kids' classes at the local community college, and my son's recent drivers ed course at the local high school. Other than those few differences, the majority of their schooling has been done by me in our home. This is our eleventh year, so I guess that makes me a veteran. Because so much of my time has been taken up with this endeavor, I've learned from first-hand experience the positives and negatives of homeschooling. Maybe there is someone reading this who's been thinking about homeschooling. I hope this list will help you in your decision making. I thought I should start with the negatives, so as to end on a high note. :)

The Negatives:

1. It's hard work! Anyone who tells you that homeschooling is all fun and really easy either hasn't done it themselves, or hasn't done it very well. My kids are currently in the 8th and 10th grades. They have 8-9 different subject areas--each. That means, for me, a great deal of planning and paperwork. Our situation is a bit different, because they are actually enrolled in a correspondence-type program, which increases our workload a bit. However, even if I were going it alone, there would still be a lot to do.

2. You can't home school if you aren't at home. We spend a great deal of time within the same walls, which can get tiring. Our commute to school is as far as our bedrooms to the kitchen or living room, so we don't get much of a break. We do get out during the day for appointments and the occasional errand, but if we allow ourselves too much time out, then the work doesn't get done. We are, by no means, prisoners in our house, but we spend much more time there than most.

3. Homeschooling often means financial sacrifice. Like most homeschooling families, we live pretty much on one income. I say "pretty much" because I recently began babysitting a little one four days a week. I can care for him and still work with my kids. There is no way, however, I could hold a full-time job and home school at the same time. Even if I had a home business, I wouldn't be able to devote my full time to it and schooling the kids. God has always been good to provide our needs, and we don't, in any way, consider ourselves poor. We have, however, only had one vehicle for most of our married life. Our house is small (and gets "smaller" as the kids get bigger). We eat out about once a month and I watch the grocery budget very closely. We realize that living on one income is a choice that we have made, and we are willing to live with that choice, because we believe it's worth it. That doesn't mean it's always easy.

4. I've got no one to blame but myself. I like to joke that if my kids turn out rotten, I'm in trouble because I can't very well say, "It's that school's fault!" or "I blame the teachers!" My husband and I are solely responsible for our kids' education and upbringing. It is a responsibility that has kept me awake at night on more than one occasion. On the other hand, it's a responsibility that has kept me as close to the Lord as I can possibly get, learning to trust Him for wisdom, strength, and peace.

5. It isn't easy to go against the flow. No matter how committed you are to a choice, when that choice puts you in a category that's different from most everyone else, it can be hard. We've never lived anywhere where there were a lot of other homeschoolers. We've never been involved in a support group. My kids have received criticism from other kids because they're home schooled. In a small town people are very loyal to their school. Often they are sending their kids to the same school they went to, and it's hard for them to understand why you don't want to send your kids there also. I think, however, that it's been good for my kids to experience being "different". I've told them often, "In this day and age, if you're going to follow God, you're going to have to get used to being different." I think homeschooling has given them a head start in understanding this.

Now for the positives. Let me say first, however, that what follows greatly outweighs any and all of the negatives above!

1. Homeschooling has strengthened our relationships. When you live and work together as much as we do, you have to have good, strong and loving relationships. A home school full of strife is a miserable one. Over the years we have taught our kids to respect us and each other. We have also had to be very aware of how we treat them, especially when correction is necessary. Also, we've had to make sure our marriage is strong, because we rely on each other too much to be divided. If our homeschooling is going to be successful, we can't afford division and disrespect. We don't always get along, but we deal with conflicts as they come and we hopefully learn from them.

2. We are our kids' biggest influences. Because we spend the most time with our kids, we get to do most of the shaping in their lives--not their peers and not the media. Our goal has never been to turn them into "mini-me's", but rather to help them become the individuals God created them to be. We've never felt we had to compete with friends or fads for our kids' hearts. (Although they've both had plenty of friends and enjoyed a few fads along the way.) We feel we can truly obey Deuteronomy 11:19 "Teach them (God's laws) to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." That takes a lot of time--time we have because we home school.

3. No "assembly-line" education. In regular school, learning can be much like an assembly line. The kids travel through their various stations year by year to be filled with that year's knowledge before moving on down the line. There isn't much room for individuality, and if there's a problem in the "manufacturing" or learning, kids are often moved on to the next station, even if they aren't ready. The negative results often don't show up until the final product, when the child leaves school unprepared for the world. Homeschooling gives me the chance to "hand craft" my kids' education. They can spend extra time pursuing the things that they are strong in (things that might turn into careers later), and if there is a problem in learning along the way, we can stop and fix it before moving on.

4. A flexible schedule. We don't have to plan family events around the school schedule. This has really opened up doors of opportunity for our kids. My son is anticipating his third missions trip to Mexico, something he probably wouldn't be able to do if he went to school. If someone we know needs help of some kind, we can take some time off and help them. This Friday, my kids will be helping with a lunch for our church missionaries who are here for our annual conference. They've also been able to be a blessing by helping with meals for families after a funeral. We can travel to visit family when we want to, or go to tourist sites in the off season when it isn't as crowded. We usually school year-round, only taking a month off in the summer, so that we can do more things when the weather isn't as hot.

5. An education for me. I think that as we get older, there is a temptation to stop learning. We don't read as much, and what we often read doesn't give our brains a good workout. By homeschooling our kids, I feel like I'm in school again myself--and I'm learning more than I did the first time around! My doctor told me once that as we age our brains need a workout just as our bodies do. It can help prevent the "senior moments" that the elderly often complain about. Hopefully my continuing to exercise my mind will have these benefits down the road.

These lists of negatives and positives aren't exhaustive. Every home school experience is unique, so someone else's list would probably vary somewhat from mine. I've talked with enough homeschoolers, though, to know we face many of the same challenges and triumphs. As with anything worthwhile, it comes with it's difficulties, but the payoff more than makes up for it in the end.

One Down, Many To Go!

2009-03-03T21:54:00.001-06:00

I finally finished the Sunbonnet Sue baby quilt I've been working on.

I really enjoyed the applique process, and will do more of that in the future. Now I'm focusing on finishing the one I'm hand quilting and the Grandmother's Flower Garden I've been working on forever.

Aprons and Mp3 Players

2009-02-14T09:33:00.000-06:00

Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley, had 19 children. She was also a woman of prayer with a deep faith in God. It is said that whenever she needed to be alone with God to pray, she would throw her apron over her head. After all, where else is a woman with 19 children going to find a place to herself. Anyway, her children knew that if their mother had her apron over her head, they weren't to disturb her--she was in prayer.

If I had 19 children, I would have to cut eye holes in my apron, because I would need to wear it over my head constantly. But that's not really the point of this post.

There are only four people in our family, but our house is small. If your personality is like mine and you prize moments of solitude, it can be challenging. Fortunately, my parents came to my rescue this Christmas when they bought me an Mp3 player.

My player is filled with praise and worship music. Now, when I want to get away with God, all I have to do is to "plug into" my player, close my eyes, and it's just me and Him. It doesn't matter what room I'm in, or what else is going on. Often I sit in my chair in the mornings while the kids have the TV on, and I'm able to worship Him without distraction. I have a few instrumentals downloaded, so that I can focus while I read the word.

Maybe your circumstances right now make regular time with God a challenge. Be creative. Ask God to show you what you can do. Maybe you simply need to realize how important time with God is. Susanna Wesley realized it, and she was willing to look foolish with an apron on her head just to have it. The more time I spend with Him, the more time I want to spend with Him. If we really value the amazing privilege we have in going before the throne of God Himself, He will help us find a way to make that happen.

Something Doesn't Smell Quite Right

2009-02-07T20:59:00.000-06:00

A couple of days ago we noticed that every time we opened the refrigerator door, something smelled bad. I threw out the leftovers, but the next day the smell was still there. I tried a box of baking soda--but it still smelled bad. So today I reluctantly took everything out and wiped the whole thing down with vinegar and water. Finally, it smells good again.

As I was working on this problem today, I started thinking about something I heard Joyce Meyer say one time. Sometimes there are things in our lives that "don't smell quite right." It may be an attitude that needs to be adjusted, or a bad habit that needs to be broken.

Fortunately, sometimes these things are easily dealt with, much like throwing out something bad that was in the refrigerator. Attitudes can be overcome by renewing our minds with God's word. Habits can be broken through God's help and strength.

Other times, we put off dealing with our problem and try to cover it up or ignore it through keeping busy and not paying attention. But, like the baking soda I tried in the refrigerator, these tactics are ineffective. As much as we try to ignore it, the "smell" is still there.

Often these long-neglected issues get so invasive that they begin to contaminate other areas of our lives. Soon everything is such a mess that we've long forgotten what our issues were in the first place. That's when we have to take the time and do the hard work of examining and cleaning up every tainted part, so that we can discover the source of the "stench".

I'm going to start paying a little closer attention to the contents of my refrigerator. I'm going to do a better job of purging it quickly of the things that have gone bad, so that I don't, once again, end up with a mess that takes me a long time to clean up.

I'm also going to pay closer attention to my life and my heart, so that I can quickly purge them of the things that contaminate--hopefully saving me (and those I love) a lot of hard work down the road.

Weary of the Weight Battle?

2009-02-05T19:10:00.000-06:00

I have spent most of my life concerned with my weight. It started when I was a chubby kid upset that I could no longer wear my skinnier cousins hand me downs. Then I became an adolescent. As if this time of life isn't insecure enough, I was "blessed" with a sudden development of chest and hips (I got more hips than chest.) I didn't realize at the time that this was normal--all my other friends were still skinny little kids. I thought I was fat.

In high school my weight fluctuated a lot--mostly because of my never-ending and often drastic measures to get "skinny". I remember the 500 calorie a day diet where I dropped ten pounds in a week. I also remember all the applause I received when I was thin--both from other teens and adults. No one seemed real concerned with how I lost the weight--they were just impressed that I did.

The battle continued in college--often becoming an obsession that had me taking over the counter diet pills and doing other harmful things in an effort to achieve what I thought was the ideal weight.

Since getting married and having two kids, my issues with my weight have still haunted me at times. I've read many books on weight loss, even led a Weigh-Down Workshop at our church. I'd lose for a bit, only to gain it back--along with a lot of guilt and self-condemnation.

Over the last couple of years, there's been a change in my attitude toward weight. It started with, believe it or not, the fact that I've gained about 40 pounds. I now weigh more than I did at the end of either of my pregnancies. If you had told me ten or twenty years ago that this would happen, I would have said that it was the end of the world. Now I think it's a blessing from God.

I know in this thin obsessed culture saying that a 40 lb weight gain is blessing is hard to imagine. Let me explain why. First of all God has used this weight gain to show me how wrong my attitude about weight has been. I've spent my life believing that being overweight was a character flaw in myself and others. I've admired people who are thin--regardless of the extreme methods they've used to get that way. Worst of all, I've felt God looked down on me because of my extra weight. I really believed I would be more acceptable to Him if I was thinner (don't gasp--I'm sure that a lot of people feel the same way!)

But here I sit, carrying this extra 40 pounds for awhile now, and you know what I've found? The world has not come crashing down around me. It really hasn't been the end of the world! My family loves me, I have great friends, and most of all, I know that God loves me no matter what I weigh. I never would have learned that if I hadn't gained the weight.

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm planning to lose the weight. 40 extra pounds is a pretty tiring load to carry around. I'm tired a lot--mostly because I'm not eating the right foods. The awesome thing is that, for the first time in my life, I just want to be healthy. I don't care so much about what the number on the scale says--just as long as I feel good and I can do the things in my life that I want to do. I no longer have to concern myself with living up to someone else's ideal of beauty, because God loves and accepts me just the way I am.

I just finished a book that I want to recommend to anyone who has fought the same battle I have. It is Loved on a Grander Scale by Neva Coyle. This book does such a great job of expressing the ideas that I've been learning these past few years. Many years ago Neva Coyle began a Christian weight loss program called "Free to Be Thin." It was quite popular at the time--it was even on my own large list of weight loss books I had read. After many years, and due to a health problem she explains in her book, Ms. Coyle gain back 100 pounds. As ashamed as I have been at my weight gains, I can't imagine being known as a Christian weight-loss expert, and then gaining all the weight back.

The author tells her story of shame and then victory as God reveals to her many of the same truths He's been showing me. She doesn't advocate a "I'm fat, so deal with it" mentality, but has learned that we can make healthy choices, enjoy our lives, and not worry about the number on the scale. She talks a lot about our society's misconceptions about overweight, and how many of these misconceptions and prejudices have crept into the church.

I think this book is a must-read for anyone whose faced the guilt and shame that often accompanies issues of weight. If you've read the book, or if you get a chance to, I'd love to know what you think.

Being Filled With the Spirit

2009-02-02T21:38:00.000-06:00

In Ephesians 3:18 Paul says that we are to be "filled with the Spirit". I've heard from more than one Bible teacher that what Paul is talking about isn't a one-time event. It's something that we do continually, again and again.

I will admit to letting myself become spiritually empty more often than not. I get so used to doing everything in my own strength--then I wonder why I eventually crash and fall.

I think that most of us fail to remember how utterly dependent we are upon the Lord for everything. The Bible says that we wake up every morning, only because the Lord has given us the ability to. We know that "in Him we live, and move, and have our being", but we still manage to fool ourselves into thinking we have it all under control.

Having this little baby in our home during the week reminds me of my own helplessness. This little guy can do nothing for himself--he doesn't even know how to try. I can imagine how silly it would be to walk in the room and see him trying to change his own diaper or make up his own bottles. That must be what we look like to the Lord sometimes--straining and striving to do for ourselves what only He can do for us.

Lord, fill me with your Spirit. Forgive me for the times when I try to take control and do things in my own strength. Remind me to seek You first thing everyday, asking for Your wisdom and your help. Help me to remember that I am a helpless child in Your presence, always thankful that You are my loving Father.

Birthdays, Babies, and Quilts

2009-01-26T19:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my youngest child turned 13. I suppose a part of me should feel sad that she's growing up, but I'm so pleased with the young lady she's becoming that it's hard for me to feel too bad. I can't wait to see what the Lord has for her in the future.

Today I began babysitting an eight-week old baby. The kids and I had a great time caring for him and playing with him. He'll be coming to our house three days a week. Fortunately he seems to be a pretty easy baby to care for, so we should have a good time together. I think it will be a great experience for my kids--they've already learned a lot of things they didn't know about how to take care of a little one.

I wanted to post some pictures of quilts I have made, and one I am working on. There are many, many more that I don't have pictures of; these are just the ones that made it into my digital camera.

This one is one in progress. It is an Americana cheater quilt. I am quilting it in the "big stitch" style on my Ulmer Quilter.

This is a baby quilt I made for my nephew. My daughter helped me with the embroidery, and then we tied it together.

This last one is one that I'm probably the most pleased with. My sister is a breast cancer survivor. After she no longer needed her headscarves, she gave them to me and asked me to make her a quilt.

There is a heart quilted inside each individual square, and an outline of the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon quilted in each pink rectangle. She was very happy with the results, and I am thrilled that her story had a happy ending.

We are supposed to get hit by a winter storm overnight. I've already decided that if the public schools take the day off tomorrow, we will too. That should be a nice suprise for the kids, because I hardly ever give them a "snow day".

I'm So Glad It's Saturday

2009-01-24T10:22:00.000-06:00

I love Saturdays, because I'm usually ready for a break from homeschooling by now. I need to finish up some paperwork, though, so that I'll be ready to jump back in on Monday.

Last night I made split-pea soup for dinner, so we'll have that left over for lunch. Steve and I are going out for dinner tonight, so the kids will have to make themselves some mac and cheese. It's so nice that they're old enough to care for themselves, and we don't have to hire sitters anymore.

Tonight we're attending a reception for a newly married couple. I'm happy for them, but I can't imagine being a newlywed again. I love the relationship my husband and I have after almost 17 years of marriage.

This afternoon Steve and I are off to shop for my youngest child's 13th birthday. I'll have two teenagers living in my house. When my oldest was turning 13, all we heard was how hard it was going to be. Honestly, it's been great. I think homeschooling has really helped us keep our relationship with our kids strong. Also we've done a lot of talking with our kids about how the teenage years are a time to get ready for adulthood--not a time to go crazy and be a pain in the neck. Often, we don't use the term "teenager"--we like to call them "adults in training". Still there are hormones and insecurities to deal with--and we're taking all that in stride.

Last night I spent some time reminiscing about the past. Steve and I met when we were both working at Last Days Ministries in Texas. If you're not familiar with that ministry it was begun by the late Christian musician Keith Green and his wife, Melody. Anyway, I was looking through old photographs and thinking about what I miss about those days. I think what I miss the most was the passion everyone had to serve God. All of us living and working together with a common goal was amazing. It wasn't perfect, because we weren't perfect people, but there was a fire and determination that I've yet to find in working with churches. At the ministry, there were few distractions--out here in the "real world" everyone has so many other things that draw them away from a complete devotion to God and His purposes. The difference (and the frustration) is hard to put into words, but whenever I've talked to anyone who has been in that kind of ministry situation, and then has gone back to the "normal" church, they tell me they know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe you have to have been there. . .

What's With the Title??

2009-01-23T11:29:00.000-06:00

I wanted to begin my first post, by explaining my title, "From Center to Circumference". There is a wonderful devotional by Frances Roberts entitled Come Away My Beloved. One of the selections is titled "From Center to Circumference". It is probably my favorite in the whole book, because it always helps me put life back in perspective, when I've gotten off track and have become distracted.

"For I purpose NOT to strip thee of earthly ties and joys, but I long to have thee give to Me the center of thy life that my blessing may flow out to the circumference. For My Spirit moveth not from the circumference to the center, but from the center to circumference." pg. 74

Everyday I have to purpose to keep Jesus at the center of everything--listening for His voice and obeying His leading and direction. When I do, I am so much more at peace, and my life bears so much more good fruit.

I want to use this blog to share all aspects of my life--my homemaking, homeschooling, quilting, my work with the children in our church, and the precious things the Lord shows me in His Word.

I hope it will be a blessing and encouragement to anyone else who is seeking to put Him first in everything they do.